By Steve Newton
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominated 15 artists for induction today, but neither Rory Gallagher, Johnny Winter, nor Link Wray were among them.
Instead, Jan Wenner and his tonedeaf buddies chose such legendary rockers as the Spinners, Janet Jackson, the J.B.’s, and Chic.
Janet Jackson instead of Johnny Winter? Chic instead of Rory Gallagher?
Whatta buncha dicks.
That’s okay, though, because as everybody knows, Rory, Johnny, and Link–along with Deep Purple and Iron Maiden–were already inducted into the only Rock Hall that matters, mine, last June.
But it still burns my ass that this other Rock Hall, the one in Cleveland, is so lame.
Sure, today’s nominees weren’t all bad. They included Deep Purple, Yes, Cheap Trick, the Cars, and Steve Miller, after all. Purple is a shoo-in that should have been inducted ages ago, and the other four are also worthy of consideration.
But Chaka Khan? She can sing her ass off, no doubt, but does she rock? And Chicago? Hey, I loved “25 or 6 to 4” as much as the next guy, but they had a few too many horns goin’ on half the time. Los Lobos is a great band, but if you think they deserve to be in the Rock Hall before acts like Maiden or Thin Lizzy or Humble Pie or Robin Trower or Mott the Hoople, you’re fvcked in the head.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will announce its class of 2016 sometime in December, at which time I’ll announce mine. My list of nominees already includes Thin Lizzy, Blue Oyster Cult, UFO, Mott the Hoople, Warren Zevon, Humble Pie, Motorhead, T-Rex, the Cramps, Robin Trower, Ten Years After, Mountain, Steve Earle, the J. Geils Band, Rick Derringer, Ronnie Montrose, Gary Moore, Wishbone Ash, Dick Dale, Jethro Tull, the New York Dolls, Dire Straits, Free, the Doobie Brothers, the Georgia Satellites, Little Feat, and a bunch of others I can’t think of right now.