ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 28, 2007 By Steve Newton The Hills Have Eyes--High Tension director Alexandre Aja's kinetic remake of Wes Craven's 1977 mutants-versus-tourists shocker--was one of the top two horror flicks of 2006, right up there with the humanoids-versus-cavers epic The Descent . So I was hoping to not miss any of Martin Weisz's sequel as … Continue reading Horror review: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Horror review: Dead Silence
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 21, 2007 By Steve Newton Ventriloquists' dummies really creep me out. All dolls are inherently freaky, but there's something seriously bent about a little wooden man with bulging eyes, shiny cheeks, and perfect chompers. I recall being quite disturbed by Magic, the 1978 chiller that used the ventriloquism angle most … Continue reading Horror review: Dead Silence
Horror review: The Marsh
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 21, 2007 According to the Internet Movie Database, The Marsh is set for release on DVD in the States next month. The fact that Forest Whitaker won an Oscar for his role as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland must have convinced the marketers behind this sub-par ghost … Continue reading Horror review: The Marsh
Horror review: The Number 23
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 21, 2007 The main concern with The Number 23 was whether or not Jim Carrey could pull off the lead role in a psychological thriller. Could the rubber-faced fartsmith overcome the juvenile stigma of anything-for-laughs flicks like Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Dumb and Dumber, or would the sight of … Continue reading Horror review: The Number 23
Horror review: The Messengers
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 7, 2007 Kristen Stewart is only 16, yet she’s already getting typecast as the sullen teen who moves with her big-city parents to spooky, dilapidated old homes in the country. She did it in 2003’s clunky Cold Creek Manor, and she’s doin’ it again as The Messengers’ Jess, a Chicagoan … Continue reading Horror review: The Messengers
Horror review: Blood and Chocolate
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 31, 2007 The ads for Blood and Chocolate proudly declare that it’s “from the producers of Underworld”, as if that’s something to brag about. Wasn’t that vampires-versus-werewolves flick just a pretentious, noisy excuse to see Kate Beckinsale in tight black leather? Apart from having scads of springy werewolves pouncing about, … Continue reading Horror review: Blood and Chocolate
Horror review: The Hitcher
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 24, 2007 Back in 1986, when many Vancouverites were preoccupied with the pricey pomp of Expo, a nasty little horror flick called The Hitcher slithered into town. It quickly vanished off mainstream radar screens, but fright fanatics who happened to catch its split-second theatrical run knew they’d uncovered a gleaming … Continue reading Horror review: The Hitcher
Horror review: Primeval
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 19, 2007 In 2004, PBS produced a one-hour documentary called Capturing the Killer Croc, about scientists attempting to capture and relocate a nine-metre crocodile dubbed Gustave that had apparently killed more than 200 people near a river in Burundi, Africa. Even though the film didn’t actually live up to its … Continue reading Horror review: Primeval
Horror review: Turistas
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, NOV. 29, 2006 What Hostel did for the Slovakian tourism industry—which was basically to drag it into a backroom and torture it to death—Turistas should do for the backpacking-in-Brazil set. But while Hostel director Eli Roth’s controversial 2005 shocker was about as subtle as an electric drill to the eye, Turistas … Continue reading Horror review: Turistas
Horror review: The Return
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, NOV. 15, 2006 The Return isn’t a great horror film by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, there’s a fair whack of imagination-stretching required to make it through the movie’s 85 minutes. But it’s just so damn refreshing to see a modern fright flick that isn’t bursting with hyperkinetic edits, … Continue reading Horror review: The Return
Horror review: Saw III
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, NOV. 1, 2006Saying that the newest Saw movie is better than the last one is a bit like saying that your latest root canal was better than your last one. Either way, it’s all about the pain and suffering. Mind you, I had a root canal once and it didn’t hurt that much; … Continue reading Horror review: Saw III
Horror review: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre–The Beginning
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, OCT. 12, 2006 WX-1130 is a great place to get traffic updates (“every 10 minutes on the ones”), but the local AM station should skip movie criticism. One Friday rush hour, I was tuned in to keep tabs on the time when the morning team decided it should compare a couple … Continue reading Horror review: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre–The Beginning
The Descent is in the running with The Hills Have Eyes as top horror flick of the year
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON AUG. 10, 2006 By Steve Newton A few weeks ago, we went camping at a lake near Powell River, and by camping I mean sleeping in a camper. I chose to crash at the very back of the rig, against the wall in the little bunk above the truck cab. Maybe it … Continue reading The Descent is in the running with The Hills Have Eyes as top horror flick of the year