BREAKING: through sources that will remain nameless, the Newt has managed to aquire a photo of evil L.A. gangsta rapper Snoop Dogg trying to corrupt innocent Canadian TV character “Bubbles” with what looks like a marijuana cigarette, or “joint” as the Yankee drug fiends like to call it.
The shocking incident apparently occured at the Pemberton Music Festival over the weekend.
We have no verified, eye-witness accounts on whether the childlike Bubbles actually gave in to the peer pressure that is clearly evident in the photo. Indeed, it does appear in the photo as if the outraged Bubbles is attempting to slap the offending item away.
It is also quite possible that the unidentified person seated just to Bubbles’ left, enjoying a refreshing glass of soda pop, intervened just in time. It looks very much like this person’s left hand, the one not clutching soda pop, is about to close into a fist that might be used to defend Bubbles’ honour from the degenerate pusher in the Canucks jersey.
We here at Ear of Newt are determined to get to the bottom of this sordid affair, and will keep readers up to date on the latest statements from RCMP regarding their full-scale investigation of the case.
In the meantime, concerned citizens are encouraged to organize protests against the scheduled release, this Tuesday (July 29), on DVD and Blu-ray, of the film Trailer Park Boys: Don’t Legalize It. Rumours are circulating that the barely-seen film, directed by a Mr. Mike Clattenburg, contains numerous scenes in which the naive and hapless Bubbles is, yet again, put in dangerous proximity to the wicked weed.
We can only hope that the film censors, working diligently under the auspices of the Harper government, performed their moral duty in a way that all upstanding Canadians can appreciate.