Braindead twats at the Rock Hall nominate Whitney Houston, spurn Rory, Link, and Johnny

By Steve Newton

I’ve been lobbying for years to get the three most deserving rockers I can think of–Rory Gallagher, Link Wray, and Johnny Winter–inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I keep hoping that one day Jann Wenner and his braindead RRHOF cohorts will pull their heads out of their asses long enough to maybe hear Rory wailin’ away righteously on his worn-out Strat, to experience Link in the heady throes of “Rumble”, or to catch Johnny hollering “rawk n’ roooollll” before tearing into “Johnny B. Goode” with a fervour few could match.

But no. They nominated Whitney Freakin’ Houston instead.

Because she outrocks them all, obviously.

Fuck me.

I can hear the sadistic Wiener-man tormenting me now: “How’d ya like that, Newt? Whitney instead of your precious Rory. Hey, if that doesn’t nauseate ya enough, here: I’ll toss the Dave Matthews Band in too.”

Bleuwggghhhhh. (That’s the sound of me barfing.)

The craziest thing about this latest travesty of rock ‘n’ roll justice is that, while at the same time as they were displaying their uncanny ignorance of history’s most deserving rockers, the powers that be at the Rock Hall actually made one brilliant move: they nominated Thin Lizzy! That was a classy move I was not expecting. Other worthy acts to get the nod yesterday included T. Rex, Soundgarden, Motorhead, the Doobie Brothers, Judas Priest, the MC5, and Todd Rundgren.

As you may know, having gotten fed up with the official Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s ineptitude, back in 2015 I started inducting artists and bands into Newt’s Rock Hall–with the only condition being that they can’t already be in the Cleveland-based institution. I actually inducted Thin Lizzy to the Class of 2015 when I needed a replacement for Deep Purple after they broke the rules of Newt’s Rock Hall and finally got inducted into the other one.

Class of 2015: Rory Gallagher, Link Wray, Johnny Winter, Iron Maiden, and Thin Lizzy (replacing Deep Purple).

Class of 2016: Blue Oyster Cult, Mott the Hoople, UFO, Ten Years After, and Robin Trower.

Class of 2017: Warren Zevon, Albert Collins, Jethro Tull, Ronnie Montrose, Rick Derringer, and Gary Moore.

Class of 2018: Motörhead, T. Rex, Free, the MC5, Humble Pie, and the J. Geils Band.

Class of 2019: Mountain, the Cramps, Roy Buchanan, Nazareth, the Georgia Satellites, the New York Dolls, and the Tragically Hip (yeah, I’m Canadian.)

It’s shocking that none of these acts have been inducted into the “official” Rock Hall. But I keep going back to Rory, Link, and Johnny, from my inaugural class of 2015. Why do they continue to be shunned by the better-known Rock Hall? It doesn’t make a lick of sense. Boggles the mind, actually.

I’m gonna continue to bash the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame until they let those three guys in, even though I know Gallagher, Wray, and Winter–wherever they are–could care less. They knew how amazing they were. Hope they did, anyway.

This is Where We Slag the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

To hear my audio interviews with the legends of rock since 1982, become a patron of the Newt on Patreon.