It Follows
By Steve Newton
The world is a very scary and disturbing place right now, what with all the death and destruction in the Middle East and Ukraine, the prospect of nuclear war, the terrifying hurricanes in the States, and whatnot.
Many people seek an escape from the real-life events of today by watching horror movies, which means a lot of them are currently scanning the streaming channels, trying to find decent fright flicks.
The bad news is, there’s a lotta lousy ones out there.
So to save you the trouble of searching around and maybe blowing some money on crap, here’s my roundup of the Top 10 horror films currently showing for free on Tubi.
These are my original reviews, which were published when the films were first released in North American theatres.
Have a happy, horror-heavy Halloween! And try not to worry so much about human extinction and stuff.
It Follows (2015, Radius-TWC)
Review originally published on March 25, 2015
Every once in a while a low-budget indie fright flick comes along that makes everything on the major studios’ horror plate look like a pile of steaming crap. It Follows is that film, right now.
Maika Monroe is note-perfect as Jay, a pretty 19-year-old college student getting by in her average Motor City life. But while they’re out on a date, her new boyfriend, Hugh (Jake Weary), chloroforms her after sex in the back seat of his car and binds her to a wheelchair in her undies in the middle of an abandoned parking structure.
Just when you fear that It Follows might turn into yet another gruelling Hostel-type torture-porn epic, we learn that Hugh has only restrained Jay so that he can explain something very important to her. When she comes to, he wheels her around until they spy a naked woman in the distance, shuffling toward them. “This thing, it’s gonna follow you,” he warns. “Somebody gave it to me, and I passed it to you.”
Hugh tells Jay that she can only rid herself of the “follower” by sleeping with someone, but fails to mention that, while slow-moving, it’s powerful enough to rip her limbs off. The rest of the film is a terrifying portrayal of the goodhearted girl’s ordeal as she tries to save herself from the converging ghouls—visible only to her (and us)—without bringing death to those around her.
Writer-director David Robert Mitchell takes the puzzling premise of It Follows and runs it straight into your nightmares. He’s aided by a standout cast of young actors whose naturalistic performances play out against an eerie-as-hell soundtrack by Disasterpeace that echoes the spooky ’70s-style synth work used in drive-in movies by the likes of Goblin, Tangerine Dream, and John Carpenter.
Depressing footage of a decaying Detroit heightens the sense of hopelessness that fuels the engine of fear propelling It Follows, which ultimately leaves you heavy with dread and the notion that it’s the finest horror flick you’ve seen in years.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)
Review originally published on March 25, 2004
Bubba Ho-Tep is a horror-comedy about two elderly men at a rundown retirement home–one supposedly Elvis Presley, the other claiming to be John F. Kennedy–who battle a mummy that sucks souls from victims’ arseholes.
Who would have thought that such a far-out B-movie premise could result in this sharply directed, wonderfully acted, and laugh-out-loud-funny tale of courage and redemption?
Three people are most responsible for Bubba Ho-Tep‘s surprising success. First off would be hard-nosed East Texas author Joe R. Lansdale, who wrote the offbeat novelette on which the film is based, publishing it in his 1994 short-story collection Writer of the Purple Rage.
The director who brings Lansdale’s singular vision to life is genre vet Don Coscarelli, who was in his early 20s when his feverish sphere-of-death horror flick Phantasm brought him cult acclaim in 1979.
And Bruce Campbell is the actor who delivers the goods with a career-topping performance as geezer Elvis. His subtly nuanced take on the tragic superstar brings Campbell full circle from the Three Stooges like pratfalls of his Evil Dead flicks.
The talents of Lansdale, Coscarelli, and Campbell converge brilliantly in Bubba Ho-Tep, although thanks to the lack of foresight from any major Hollywood studio, that fact won’t be widely known until this overlooked gem becomes a hot property on video.
All the action, except flashbacks, takes place at the Mud Creek Rest Home in East Texas, where the decrepit residents start getting attacked by huge scarab beetles. Elvis’s battle with one such bug is particularly hilarious, especially when he skewers it on a fork, holds it up, and declares with a curly-lipped sneer: “Never, ever, fuck with the King!”
Soon after, Bubba Ho-Tep himself appears, shuffling about in cowboy boots and Stetson hat, sniffing around for stinky souls to steal. That’s when Elvis joins forces with the black JFK, played by charismatic Ossie Davis, and the two previously downtrodden codgers find new reason to embrace life in their quest to vanquish the ancient evil.
It’s the powerful bond between these two characters, much more than the creature effects or lowbrow humour, that screenwriter Coscarelli focuses on. His words, many of which are respectfully lifted directly from Lansdale’s original tale, are given resonance by the evocative, guitar-based score of Brian Tyler (Six-String Samurai).
After experiencing Bubba Ho-Tep‘s winning mix of pathos and absurdity, fans of contemporary horror-comedies will think twice when the next Scary Movie comes along.
Wolf Creek (2005, Roadshow Entertainment)
Review originally published on December 22, 2005
The intro to Wolf Creek claims that 30,000 people are reported missing every year in Australia and that 90 percent of them are found within a month. Of those who are never heard from again, there’s little doubt that some are murdered; there’s been a spate of backpacker killings down under in recent years. Writer-director Greg McLean’s uncompromising take on such real-life cases shocks with the same gritty realism as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
The movie opens with rugged Aussie good guy Ben (Nathan Phillips) buying a cheap used car and picking up two friends, British holidayers Liz and Kristy (Cassandra Magrath and Jennifer Aniston look-alike Kestie Morassi). The carefree trio have plans for some outback sightseeing, and after a routine run-in with rednecks at a remote gas station, they reach their destination, a meteorite crater at Wolf Creek National Park.
Everything goes fine until after their hike, when it’s time to leave, and the newly purchased clunker won’t start. As the group hunkers down for the night, a jovial hick named Mick (Oz screen veteran John Jarratt) shows up in a big truck and offers to tow them back to his place, where he’ll fix the car for free and send them on their merry way in the morning.
At first, their talkative host seems harmless enough; he’s the type of macho, eccentric loner you’d expect to find living out in the boonies. But when one of Ben’s smartass remarks draws a long, cold stare from Mick, it becomes pretty clear that the party has to end.
Sure enough, after being drugged with spiked rainwater, the guests awaken to find themselves bound and at the mercy of one well-armed and extremely sick puppy.
McLean’s digital videocam doesn’t pan away from Mick’s casually administered yet shockingly gruesome tortures, and the ghastly images are hard to shake. The tension meter gets stuck on high for the last 30 minutes of the film, culminating in an action-packed highway sequence straight out of Mad Max.
Wolf Creek relies as much on the extreme environment as the twisted motivations of a sadistic killer to instill fear and compound dread. The sheer, desolate expanse of the outback makes it obvious that even if the victims manage to escape the psycho’s grimy lair, their chances of survival are slim.
McLean’s cliché-free script and the believable performances by Phillips, Magrath, and Morassi keep you focused on their characters’ grim, life-or-death struggles against the unfathomable evil of man and the unforgiving power of nature.
Low-budget horror doesn’t get much better than this.
P2 (2007, Summit Entertainment)
Review originally published on November 7, 2007
As if underground parking wasn’t scary enough already. Ever try finding an empty spot in the Metrotown parkade on the weekend? The stress involved with that alone can kill ya. I just say, ‘Screw it,’ park out on the street somewhere, and deal with the pouring rain.
In the Big Apple you don’t always have that option, especially if you are like ambitious young executive Angela (Rachel Nichols of TV’s Alias). She’s working late on Christmas Eve, and by the time she leaves the office, the parking garage is deserted–apart from the uniformed security guy, Thomas (Weirdsville‘s Wes Bentley). When Angela’s car won’t start, he tries boosting it with a battery charger, to no avail.
He gets slightly miffed when the flustered blond fails to appreciate his efforts, but that’s nothing compared to how he reacts when she rejects his invitation to enjoy the turkey feast he’s whipped up at his guard station. Next thing you know, she’s been chloroformed, changed into a silk cocktail dress, and cuffed to a chair at Thomas’s dinner table.
The idea of a delusional man holding a beautiful woman captive isn’t exactly original, but in the skilled hands of screenwriters Alexandre Aja and Grégory Levasseur–who’ve honed their suspense chops on the riveting High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes–the result is a thoroughly engrossing psycho-thriller that never lets up.
Nichols and Bentley fulfill their cat-and-mouse roles to perfection, she as the strong-willed, resourceful victim and he as the pitiful, voyeuristic psychopath. The movie has a few gruesome moments, but for the most part first-time director and cowriter Franck Khalfoun takes a subdued approach to the unfolding nastiness.
He refuses to rely on the blindingly fast edits and screeching sound effects common in today’s teen-oriented horror flicks. While avoiding those types of technical cop-outs, Khalfoun fashions one of the most wildly entertaining fright flicks of the year, an old-school nail-biter that’s sure to make late-night holiday shoppers think twice as they push the button marked P2 on the parkade elevator.
Way to ruin Christmas, Thomas!
Frozen (2010, Anchor Bay Films)
Review originally published on March 3, 2010
After suffering through his witless 2007 gore fest, Hatchet, I didn’t have high hopes for writer-director Adam Green’s Frozen. I knew it was a skiing-related horror flick, so I pictured an axe-wielding maniac lunging from behind trees and turning the slopes bright red with blood.
Man, was I off the mark.
For its first half-hour or so, Frozen does resemble a routine slice-and-dicer, as young characters played by Kevin Zegers, Emma Bell, and Shawn Ashmore are shown wangling their way onto a ski lift and engaging in the usual inane chitchat befitting slasher victims.
But later on, when they try to squeeze in a last-minute run on the near-deserted mountain, the chair lift shuts down, leaving them stranded 30 metres above the ground.
Things get hairy when the night lights are switched off and the skiers realize the resort is shutting down and won’t reopen for another five days, and they’re without cellphones. What the fuck are they gonna do? What the fuck would you do?
When screaming for help doesn’t work, there are only three options. One is to stay put and freeze to death, another is to jump and risk breaking your legs, and the last is to traverse the chair-lift cable hand over hand until you get to a supporting tower and climb down. Either way, the do-or-die drama involves a whole lot of human suffering.
Fortunately for horror fans, all three actors embrace their pain-filled roles and deliver the goods. Apart from a cameo by actor-stuntman Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th fame, Green avoids Hatchet’s corny clichés and totally redeems himself with a harrowing portrait of humans at the mercy of the great outdoors.
The tourism department at Whistler will not be impressed.
Backcountry (2015, IFC Midnight)
Review originally published on August 24, 2015
If you’re thinking about going camping anywhere bears might be, Backcountry is definitely not for you. It’s Stephen Colbert’s worst nightmare come to life, basically.
Surrey escapee Missy Peregrym, from TV’s Rookie Blue, and Montreal’s Jeff Roop star as Jenn and Alex, a young couple embarking on a camping trip to the provincial park he visited as a child. We first meet them as Alex is loading their backpacks into his SUV, and his furtive glances at Jenn texting away make it clear that he’d much rather she leave her phone behind. It’s the first of many bad ideas on his part.
While renting a canoe to start their trip Alex scoffs at the safety advice offered by Nicholas Campbell’s park ranger, but Jenn is cautious enough to bring along a can of bear spray.
Things go fine until, while Alex is off gathering wood, Jenn befriends sketchy-looking hiker Brad (horror vet Eric Balfour from Cell 213 and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake), whom Alex immediately takes a paranoid dislike to. Brad picks up on the vibe, but stays for dinner anyway, showing off his big knife and bad table manners.
When the simmering conflict between the two guys boils over, the stranger departs in the dead of night, so now they’ve got a pissed off survivalist with a wicked blade to worry about, as well as any furry, thousand-pound killing machines.
The terror starts to ramp up once the overconfident Alex gets them hopelessly lost without a map—shades of the best parts of The Blair Witch Project, sans jittery camerawork. Writer-director Adam MacDonald does a keen job of coaxing equal parts desperation and determination from his stars, although Peregrym’s performance proves strongest overall.
It all leads up to a scene of flat-out, primal horror that brings to mind how Werner Herzog might have felt listening to that tape of Timothy Treadwell’s final moments in Grizzly Man.
Happy camping!
The Gift (2015, STX Entertainment)
Review originally published on August 5, 2015
If you thought Jason Bateman could only play affable sad-sacks, prepare for a nice surprise with The Gift. The actor best known for his gentle portrayal of the put-upon Michael Bluth in Arrested Development discovers his dark side in a big way in this unsettling revenge thriller about the terrible cost of youthful misdeeds.
We first meet sales exec Simon (Bateman) and his interior-designer wife, Robyn (Rebecca Hall), as they’re being shown around a new home in the Hollywood Hills. The picturesque place comes equipped with a surplus of windows, but there’ll be a lot more peering in than out.
While out shopping one day the couple run into Simon’s old high-school buddy Gordon (first-time writer-director Joel Edgerton), who exudes a harmless demeanour but soon worms his way into their lives with unannounced visits to the new place. His strange behaviour leads an increasingly frustrated Simon to admit that his nickname back in the day was “Gordo the Weirdo”.
After one too many troubling interactions, Simon and Robyn cut social ties with Gordo and focus on their main goal—becoming parents—while Simon also aims for a big promotion at his computer-security firm. It’s around this time that the real story behind Gordo’s weirdness starts to reveal itself—along with Robyn’s vulnerable psyche and Simon’s simmering menace.
The sure-handed Edgerton sets a slow-burning pace in the lead-up to The Gift’s harrowing revelations, and all three leads give well-controlled performances, their conflict never stretching believability past the breaking point—at least, not until that climactic “gotcha” moment.
After striking it rich with demon-based, supernatural franchises like the Paranormal Activity, Insidious, and Sinister series, it seems as if charmed production company Blumhouse has found a winning way with human-based horror as well.
The Tunnel (2011, Distracted Media)
Review originally published on August 3, 2011
Remember the last part of The Blair Witch Project, where the supposed real-life documentary makers are freaking out and running around in that decrepit house in the woods and the chaotic camerawork has reached its jiggly apex and you’re wondering what the fuck is going on and what the hell’s going to happen next?
Well, the makers of The Tunnel must have studied those scenes religiously, because their low-budget flick manages to ooze that feeling of hysterical dread and panic quite often and most effectively.
Call it a rip-off if you must, but it’s nicely done.
The Tunnel’s story is told pseudodocumentary style via interviews with Australian TV reporter Natasha (Bel Deliá) and cameraman Steve (Steve Davis), incorporating footage they shot along with soundman Tangles (Luke Arnold) and producer Peter (Andy Rodoreda). Investigating rumours of homeless people disappearing in the abandoned train tunnels beneath Sydney—and a potential cover-up involving a scrapped government plan to recycle the water there—the quartet descends into the cavernous blackness to see what they can find.
Too bad for them.
It’s made clear early on that because Natasha and Steve are the only ones talking, Tangles and Peter never made it out alive. But that knowledge doesn’t diminish the edge-of-your-seat thrills that fans of claustrophobic, lost-in-the-dark flicks like The Descent will get from this engrossing feature.
Director Carlo Ledesma and writers-editors Julian Harvey and Enzo Tedeschi make great use of the less-is-more approach. When scary shit happens, the terror sticks with you because you’re never shown enough to be certain of anything.
By keeping moviegoers in the dark—literally, at times—the filmmakers force them to exercise their imaginations.
Then again, they didn’t hold much back in that scene with the eyeballs.
Goodnight Mommy (2015, Stadtkino Verleih)
Review originally published on October 9, 2015
Goodnight Mommy opens with a gentle lullaby–Brahms’ “Cradle Song”, to be exact–but that’s it for sweetness and light in this unnerving portrait of familial distrust and paranoia.
We first meet twin brothers Lukas and Elias (identical twins Lukas and Elias Schwarz) as they’re playing hide-and-seek in a cornfield, just seeming like regular nine-year-olds. But Lucas keeps disappearing–either in a pitch-black cave or under the dark surface of a lake–leaving Elias worried and calling out for him.
When mom (Susanne Wuest) returns to the family’s ultra-modern house in the Austrian woods her head and face are wrapped in bandages, and you’re not sure whether she’s been in a horrible car accident or just recovering from a facelift. The boys aren’t too sure about her, either, doubting whether she’s even their real mother. She does act pretty strange, wandering off into the woods and removing her clothes and peeling off the bandages and going all Jacob’s Ladder on our asses with that freaky blurred-out head-shaking.
No wait–that was just a nightmare.
As the action slowly unfolds in unsettling quietude the twins are shown to be pretty strange birds themselves. They collect huge Madagascar hissing cockroaches and place one on their mom while she’s sleeping, so we get to see that old bug-in-the-mouth trick. But waking up with a case of roach-throat is the least of mommy’s problems.
Similar in tone to last year’s creepy sleeper hit The Babadook, Goodnight Mommy reels you in with its anguished portrayal of a strained mother/child relationship headed for an ugly end. Writer-directors Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz craft an absorbing, lustrously shot tale of domestic dread and coax near-perfect performances from the three leads.
It’s the most unsettling identical-twin psycho-thriller I’ve seen since The Other–and that was back in ’72!
Horns (2014, Dimension Films)
Review originally published on October 21, 2014
Who knew that a scary movie based on the bizarre idea of a mortal man growing devil horns could prove so damn captivating? Horns is right up there with The Cabin in the Woods as among the most engrossing horror flicks ever made in and around Vancouver.
The film opens with young lovers Ig and Merrin (Daniel Radcliffe and Juno Temple) professing their undying love for each other while sprawled on a blanket in the woods. “I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life,” he vows. “Just love me for the rest of mine,” she replies.
Ig then wakes up hungover on his kitchen floor to the nightmare that he’s the main suspect in Merrin’s brutal rape and murder, hounded by rabid media and townsfolk alike. “When they looked at me they saw a devil,” he says in a voiceover, “and maybe I did too. And now I had to look the part.”
That’s when those crazy horns start sprouting from his forehead and—as if he were Satan himself—most everyone Ig encounters proudly blurts out their darkest secrets and most depraved desires. Much hilarity ensues—especially when Heather Graham’s fame-obsessed psycho waitress makes the scene.
But the twisted humour in Horns is tempered by a whole lotta heart, much of it felt in coming-of-age flashbacks of Ig and Merrin’s star-crossed childhood. The performances from the array of teen and adult supporting actors—including James Remar, David Morse, Kathleen Quinlan, and Max Minghella—is first-rate all around, although particularly riveting is Joe (The Crazies) Anderson as Ig’s drug-addled musician brother Terry.
Director Alexandre Aja—who blew horror fans away with the grim gore epics High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes before bobbing for bent laughs with Piranha 3D—does a masterful job turning the offbeat premise into a romance-driven murder-mystery fable that keeps you guessing and giggling throughout.
And boy [shakes head in wonder], that shotgun scene is something else.
T0 read more than 350 of my original reviews of scary movies released theatrically in North America go here.