Horror review: Creature

creature_film_a_l

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, SEPT. 7, 2011

By Steve Newton

With the plethora of fright flicks currently in theatres, it’s definitely a good time to be a horror fan. The list includes Final Destination 5, Shark Night 3D, Apollo 18, and Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, so there’s pretty much something for everybody.

And with the addition of Creature, now there’s something for nobody.

In this inept time waster, six young friends on a road trip to New Orleans take a “shortcut” that puts them deep into bayou country, where they come upon a gas station/general store inhabited by a trio of local yokels, including the freaky-looking Chopper (Rob Zombie fave Sid Haig, the movie’s sole highlight).

The tourist trap is all out of gas but boasts a shrine to a fabled critter named Lockjaw that supposedly roams the adjacent swamp. “That’s a southern-fried version of Bigfoot,” quips ex–Navy SEAL Niles (Mehcad Brooks). “Every backwoods town has one.” Chopper invites the travellers to visit a nearby site connected to the Lockjaw myth, and while smart-ass Oscar (Dillon Casey) drives them there, he tells the unlikely tale of an inbred hillbilly named Grimley who—after tracking down and killing the white alligator that took his pregnant sister/wife—transformed into the titular beastie.

The rest of the film is all about the girls taking off their tops and getting tied up while the guys get chased around by a dude in a hokey alligator suit and monster mask. There’s one sequence where Niles takes a rifle shot to the knee and goes down, then minutes later he is seen sprinting through the woods, his wound having magically disappeared.

That’s pretty inexcusable, but just wait until the climactic sinkhole scene.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s