Horror review: Bad Milo!

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ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, DEC. 4, 2013

If you’re the type of bad-movie fan who got all psyched at Blockbuster back in ’85 when you spotted the video box for Ghoulies with that grinning, sharp-toothed, cheapjack monster coming out of a toilet, have I got a film for you. But it’s really gonna help if Jeff Daniels’s explosive-diarrhea scene in Dumb and Dumber had you doubled up in hysterics as well.

Bad Milo! may be the first poo-based “ass demon” movie made, but that’s definitely all it will be remembered for.

Ken Marino stars as Duncan, an account executive with gastrointestinal issues who seeks help from a goofy doctor (Toby Huss, who you may recall from such roles as “The Wiz” on Seinfeld). “You’ve got a little trooper in your pooper,” he says, before explaining that the condition is likely due to PSM (poor stress management).

Duncan is definitely under a lot of pressure, both from his child-starved wife (Community’s Gillian Jacobs) and his sleazeball boss (Patrick Warburton, another Seinfeld alumnus). We get to watch the stressed-out sap go through numerous panicked “I gotta shit!” moments, and during one particularly strenuous crap he passes out. That’s when a hokey-looking E.T. thingie with nasty teeth and ’tude departs his bum and skitters off to kill a nerd.

At his wife’s insistence Duncan visits a nutty hypnotherapist named Highsmith (Peter Stormare), and while he’s there the demon—having returned to its stinky hideout—violently exits from the rear again and goes on another murderous rampage.

“This creature is a physical manifestation of your dark side,” Highsmith concludes. “I had a monster up my ass!” Duncan declares.

As you can probably tell, Bad Milo! is one bad ass movie—as opposed to a badass one. The only time I came close to chuckling at this apparent “horror-comedy” was when Highsmith’s budgie infuriated him by screeching “Witchdoctor!” during one of his cosmic spiels.

Other than that, nothin’.

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