By Steve Newton
Well, those bozos down at the highly slaggable Rock and Roll Hall of Fame finally came to their senses.
Twenty-two years after it first became eligible for induction, legendary British hard-rockers Deep Purple finally gained admittance into the Cleveland institution’s hallowed halls.
I guess the powers-that-be finally broke down and played Machine Head all the way through, from “Highway Star” to “Space Truckin'”.
Of course, there’s no doubt that Jann Wenner and his cronies just went ahead and followed my lead, because I inducted Deep Purple into Newt’s Rock Hall last June–along with Rory Gallagher, Johnny Winter, Iron Maiden, and Link Wray.
Of course, now that Purple has made it into that other Rock Hall, I have to give them the boot out of mine, because there can be no crossover between the two. So on this night I hereby induct Thin Lizzy to take Deep Purple’s place in Newt’s Rock Hall.
Welcome to the club, Mr. Lynott. It was fun while it lasted, Ritchie.
The other four acts inducted today include Cheap Trick, Steve Miller, Chicago, and N.W.A. Cheap Trick and Steve Miller are no-brainers, Chicago I’m not so sure about, and N.W.A. I won’t even comment on because they are rap and therefore have no place in a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
The nominees that didn’t make it were Janet Jackson, Yes, the Cars, the Spinners, Nine Inch Nails, the Smiths, Chaka Khan, Chic, Los Lobos, and the J.B.’s (whoever they are).
If I had my way I would have nixed Chicago and N.W.A. and given the nods to the Cars and Yes, on the respective strengths of “Just What I Needed” and “Roundabout” alone.
Hopefully they’ll make it next time, unless they get crowded off the nominee list by Chic or some other crazy-ass Jann Wenner obsession.
Remember to check back here this April when I’ll announce five more inductees into Newt’s Rock Hall at the same time that that other Rock Hall over in Cleveland is having its ceremony for its class of 2016.
Get your votes in now because the list of nominees already includes Blue Oyster Cult, UFO, Mott the Hoople, Warren Zevon, Humble Pie, Motorhead, T-Rex, the Cramps, Robin Trower, Ten Years After, Mountain, Steve Earle, the J. Geils Band, Rick Derringer, Ronnie Montrose, Gary Moore, Wishbone Ash, Mahogany Rush, Dick Dale, Jethro Tull, the New York Dolls, Dire Straits, Free, the Doobie Brothers, the Georgia Satellites, Little Feat, King Crimson, Big Country, Budgie, Foghat, the B-52s, Grand Funk Railroad, Yes, the Cars, and a bunch of others I can’t think of right now.
Now everybody go get black Sharpies and scribble Hall over Roger Glover’s head on the cover of your Deep Purple in Rock LP.