Pride and Prejudice and Zombies equals yuck

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 3, 2016 By Steve Newton The only thing worse than a novel combining Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice with zombie fiction, apparently, is a film version of the heinous mashup. I haven’t suffered such anguish at the movies since reviewing Uwe Boll’s appalling Alone in the Dark back in 2005. Pride … Continue reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies equals yuck

The Boy Next Door is no Boys Next Door

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 24, 2015 By Steve Newton The Boys Next Door is an awesome movie. Maxwell Caulfield and Charlie Sheen were perfect as angst-ridden teens on a murderous rampage in Penelope Spheeris’s jarring study of the underside of the American… …what's that? This is supposed to be a review of The Boy Next Door? Singular? … Continue reading The Boy Next Door is no Boys Next Door

As Above/So Below is a descent into shaky-cam hell

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, SEPT. 1, 2014 I've seen plenty of shaky-cam fright flicks since The Blair Witch Project jittered its way to horror fame back in '99, but the ultra-jittery As Above/So Below really pushes the limits of what any reasonable found-footage fan can take. It's a real shame, too, because director John Erick Dowdle--whose credits include 2008's … Continue reading As Above/So Below is a descent into shaky-cam hell

All the Oscar-winners in the world can’t make The Calling memorable

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, AUG. 29, 2014 With its pitch-black humour, quirky characters, and desolate small-town vibe—not to mention those furry-earmuff cop hats—The Calling seems like it might be trying to be a horror flick for the Fargo set. Unfortunately, even with a cast that includes Oscar winners Susan Sarandon and Ellen Burstyn and the scene-stealing Donald Sutherland, The … Continue reading All the Oscar-winners in the world can’t make The Calling memorable

Detroit Rock City is juvenile, crass, and loud, just like KISS itself

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, AUG. 12, 1999 By Steve Newton Despite the plot similarities—both movies are about teenage twits hell-bent on seeing their greasepaint-laden glam-rock idols in the flesh—Detroit Rock City is no Wayne’s World. For starters, Wayne’s World had two talented comedians, Saturday Night Live’s Mike Myers and Dana Carvey. Detroit Rock … Continue reading Detroit Rock City is juvenile, crass, and loud, just like KISS itself

Doc of the Dead is a zombie study that aims for the head

  ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, AUG. 6, 2014 Even if you’re not a huge fan of The Walking Dead, you should find Doc of the Dead—a new study of the history of zombies in film and popular culture—quite interesting. And if you’re the type who gores yourself all up and goes lurching down the road at the … Continue reading Doc of the Dead is a zombie study that aims for the head

The Purge: Anarchy isn’t worth the numbing ride

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JULY 18, 2014 Last year The Purge introduced viewers to the absurd concept of an annual, government-sanctioned bloodbath in which Americans are encouraged--for the economic good of the country--to either go out and commit whatever heinous crimes they want for a 12-hour period, or hunker down in their barricaded homes with their weapons handy … Continue reading The Purge: Anarchy isn’t worth the numbing ride

Reno 911!: Miami’s plot undermines the comical cops-versus-freaks action

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 28, 2007 My wife hates it when I watch Cops. For some reason, she doesn't agree that the sight of macho lawmen busting down doors and tackling white-trash meth-head wife beaters is the pinnacle of entertainment. But we both love watching the Cops parody, Reno 911!, which revolves around the … Continue reading Reno 911!: Miami’s plot undermines the comical cops-versus-freaks action