ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JULY 18, 2013 Aiming to impress horror freaks, the poster for The Conjuring boasts “from the director of Saw and Insidious”, which was a much wiser choice than “from the writers of The Reaping”. But the fact remains that the team of director James Wan and scripters Chad and Carey Hayes comes up short with this demonic-possession … Continue reading Horror review: The Conjuring
Horror review: The Purge
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JUNE 7, 2013 On paper The Purge looked promising for horror fans, mainly because it was—as the ads trumpeted—"from the producer of Paranormal Activity and Sinister", two of the better supernatural thrillers Hollywood has spawned in recent years. Plus, it stars Ethan Hawke (who was impressive as Sinister's struggling true-crime writer) and Game of Thrones' magnetic Lena Headey. … Continue reading Horror review: The Purge
Horror review: Scary Movie 5
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, APRIL 12, 2013 The scariest thing about Scary Movie 5 is that it actually made me chortle less than some of the silly horror flicks it's trying to spoof! Like Mama, for instance. Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex are the main actors committing career hari-kari in this poo- and penis joke-filled disaster, which also riffs lamely … Continue reading Horror review: Scary Movie 5
Horror review: Evil Dead
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, APRIL 5, 2013 By Steve Newton At what point in life does the attraction of extreme gore--even to the lifelong horror fan--start to fade? It depends, I guess. All I know is, the sight of a possessed woman slicing her own tongue in half lengthwise just doesn't do it for me … Continue reading Horror review: Evil Dead
Horror review: The Call
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 15, 2013 After seeing Halle Berry's ridiculous performance in 2003's godawful Gothika I didn't have high hopes for her latest Hollywood thriller. But boy, what a pleasant--as in terrifying--surprise. The Call deserves all the gushy hyperbole ("electrifying", "white-knuckle", "pulse-pounding") a critic can muster. The movie opens with Berry, as 911 operator Jordan Turner, fielding … Continue reading Horror review: The Call
Horror review: Stoker
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 14, 2013 Man, that Stoker is one mind messer of a Hitchcockian psycho thriller. It’s such a mind messer that—even as I write this three days after seeing it—I can’t decide if I like it or not. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The movie centres on the weird relationships between recently … Continue reading Horror review: Stoker
Horror review: The Last Exorcism Part II
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 1, 2013 2010's The Last Exorcism was a pretty decent flick as far as Hollywood horrors go. It told the tale of an apparently possessed Louisiana teen named Nell (Ashley Bell) who is used as a test subject for a documentary shoot about fake exorcisms. While it incorporated a lot of … Continue reading Horror review: The Last Exorcism Part II
Horror review: Dark Skies
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 22, 2013 The makers of Dark Skies used a quote from legendary sci-fi author Arthur C. Clarke to open their new alien-abduction thriller. It reads: "Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." Oh really? Isn't the possibility that we are alone … Continue reading Horror review: Dark Skies
Horror review: Warm Bodies
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 31, 2013 Warm Bodies is a whoppingly insignificant zombie rom-com clearly aimed at scraping up any cash the horror-lite crowd hasn’t already blown on Twilight. The movie opens with Nicholas Hoult’s zombie character—later named just R because zombies make a lot of growling “arrrr” sounds—shuffling through a post-apocalypse airport while his voice-over … Continue reading Horror review: Warm Bodies
Horror review: Mama
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 17, 2013 Poor Jessica Chastain. Just one week after the release of the acclaimed Zero Dark Thirty—with its slew of Oscar nominations, including hers for best actress—out comes Mama, a patently ridiculous kids-raised-by-a-ghost flick. There’s one agent in Hollywood who’s got some ’splainin’ to do. Mama starts off strong. One snowy afternoon, a … Continue reading Horror review: Mama
Horror review: Texas Chainsaw 3D
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 4, 2013 Everything is relative, which is why I'm not going to rip Texas Chainsaw 3D the new one that it may well deserve. After all, it is way more entertaining (i.e. sicker) than the last entry in the franchise, 2007's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. And it deserves a modicum … Continue reading Horror review: Texas Chainsaw 3D
Horror review: Silent Hill–Revelation 3D
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, OCT. 26, 2012 When I walked into the Vancouver media screening of Silent Hill: Revelation 3D the other day, there was a handful of movie critics sitting around looking like they'd rather be anywhere else. One of the writers, when asked how she was doing, sarcastically replied: "Well, I'm at a horror film." … Continue reading Horror review: Silent Hill–Revelation 3D
Horror review: Paranormal Activity 4
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, OCT. 19, 2012 It was inevitable, I suppose. After three extremely scary and engrossing films about regular folks being menaced by demonic forces in their comfy homes, the Paranormal Activity franchise is running out of ways to keep the terror level at 10. The fourth entry in the hugely successful film series just … Continue reading Horror review: Paranormal Activity 4