ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, NOV. 15, 2010 Two alien-invasion flicks were released in Metro Vancouver last Friday, but Monsters only opened at one theatre while Skyline made it into at least a dozen. Judging by how much the latter film sucks, it should have been the other way around. As Skyline begins, good guy Jarrod (Joe Perry look-alike Eric Balfour) and … Continue reading Horror review: Skyline
Tag: sucks
Horror review: Cold Creek Manor
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, SEPT. 25, 2003 I had high hopes for Cold Creek Manor being a decent suspense thriller. First off, the cast looked impressive. Sharon Stone, Dennis Quaid, Stephen Dorff, and Juliette Lewis have all done memorable work in the past. And Mike Figgis is no hack, having directed the Oscar-nominated … Continue reading Horror review: Cold Creek Manor
Horror review: Ghost Ship
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, OCT. 31, 2002 By Steve Newton The folks at Hollywood’s Dark Castle Entertainment just don’t know when to give up. After nauseating viewers big time with their lamebrained haunted-house remakes, Thir13en Ghosts and House on Haunted Hill, they’re now polluting the high seas with this dead-in-the-water combo of The … Continue reading Horror review: Ghost Ship
Horror review: feardotcom
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, SEPT. 5, 2002 I figured feardotcom was gonna be bad news when I saw the TV trailer and noticed it was promoted with the line “From the director of House on Haunted Hill”, as if that was anything to be proud of. William Malone’s special-effects–heavy 1999 remake of William … Continue reading Horror review: feardotcom
Horror review: The Mothman Prophecies
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, JAN. 31, 2002 The Mothman Prophecies is supposedly based on a series of mysterious events that occurred in the mid-’60s in the small town of Point Pleasant, Virginia. Reports of unexplained lights in the sky, strange telephone noises, and sightings of a man-sized, mothlike entity culminated in a bridge … Continue reading Horror review: The Mothman Prophecies
Horror review: Thir13en Ghosts
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, NOV. 1, 2001 Several times while viewing the Vancouver-shot Thir13en Ghosts, I thought to myself: “This is a complete and utter piece of crap.” But after the movie was over, I decided that glib assessment wasn’t totally called for. The film’s set piece—a sprawling haunted house built mostly of … Continue reading Horror review: Thir13en Ghosts
Horror review: The Forsaken
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, MAY 3, 2001 A couple of months back, dedicated horror fans were slapped in the face with a mindless made-in-Vancouver slasher flick called Valentine. After suffering through that inept exercise in blood and boobs, I figured it would be a while before a fright flick so painful to sit … Continue reading Horror review: The Forsaken
Horror review: The Watcher
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, SEPT. 14, 2000 Poor Keanu Reeves. Even though he’s starred in such blockbuster action flicks as Speed and The Matrix, he’s never been able to live down the role he was born to play: that of empty-headed California dude Bill in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Dogstar, the rock … Continue reading Horror review: The Watcher
Horror review: Bless the Child
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, AUG. 17, 2000 As soon as I got home after seeing Bless the Child, I happened to check my mail and found a schedule for the Vancouver Film School’s part-time fall classes. The cover of the glossy pamphlet caught my eye because it read, in big green letters, If … Continue reading Horror review: Bless the Child
Horror review: Pitch Black
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, FEB. 4, 2000 At one point in writer-director David Twohy’s gory sci-fi/horror flick Pitch Black, futuristic lawman Johns (Cole Hauser) states: “My life is a steaming, meaningless pile of shit.” Now, I probably wouldn’t even have remembered that prime example of Twohy’s screenwriting prowess if it hadn’t been so … Continue reading Horror review: Pitch Black
Horror review: House on Haunted Hill
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, NOV. 4, 1999 As if this year’s bogus remake of The Haunting wasn’t discouraging enough for horror fans, now Hollywood has unleashed another sorry remake of a haunted-house flick, this time seeking inspiration from the silly but fun Vincent Price vehicle House on Haunted Hill. The new version has … Continue reading Horror review: House on Haunted Hill
Horror review: Lake Placid
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, JULY 22, 1999 As the Vancouver correspondent for Fangoria, the world’s best-known horror magazine, I usually have access to the sets of whatever scary flicks are being filmed around town. Most horror filmmakers jump at the chance to have their work previewed in the blood-red pages of that esteemed … Continue reading Horror review: Lake Placid
Horror review: Virus
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT, JAN. 21, 1999 By Steve Newton There’s a scene near the beginning of Virus in which oceangoing-tug engineer Steve Baker (William Baldwin) and his supposedly hip Cuban sidekick, Squeaky (Julio Oscar Mechoso), have just boarded an evidently abandoned Russian research ship. The salvage tug they’ve transferred from has just … Continue reading Horror review: Virus