ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, AUG. 15, 2007 Skinwalkers is about two gangs of werewolves, one good and one bad. Elias Koteas stars as Joshua, leader of the nice, family-oriented werewolves who, when a full moon approaches, bind themselves up in leather harnesses so they don't harm anyone. Jason Behr from The Grudge and TV's Roswell … Continue reading Horror review: Skinwalkers
Tag: 2007
Horror review: I Know Who Killed Me
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, AUG. 1, 2007 Hollywood is crawling with limo drivers, so how come Lindsay Lohan keeps thinking that she has to drive herself around L.A. whenever she's drunk and packing drugs? Maybe she's taking transportation tips from her agent, or whoever the hell suggested she top-line this ultra-sleazy horror-thriller, an excruciatingly awful … Continue reading Horror review: I Know Who Killed Me
Horror review: Captivity
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JULY 18, 2007 As the distributor of the Hostel and Saw franchises, Vancouver-based Lionsgate Films has a virtual stranglehold on today's gruesome and sadistic horror flicks. But now that Lionsgate has seen how much money it can make with so-called torture porn, it's gotten greedy; case in point being Captivity is … Continue reading Horror review: Captivity
Horror review: Joshua
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JULY 18, 2007 Now here's a certifiable nightmare maker for people with young kids. Anyone who's ever heard (or just imagined) troubling sounds coming from a fuzzy baby monitor or fretted while their fifth-grader traversed a big-city crosswalk will have their nerves seriously jangled by Joshua. It's a wonderfully absorbing shocker … Continue reading Horror review: Joshua
Horror review: 1408
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JUNE 20, 2007 Unforgettable haunted-house flicks are extremely hard to come by; the only two I can think of are 1963's The Haunting and The Shining. The subgenre of haunted-hotel-room flicks is promising in that the number of hotel patrons passing through maximizes the potential for untimely death and subsequent souls … Continue reading Horror review: 1408
Horror review: Severance
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MAY 30, 2007 In Severance’s promo material, the British horror-comedy is described as “The Office meets Deliverance”. It’s better defined, however, as a freaky cross between Friday the 13th and Hostel—with some serious chuckles thrown in. Discriminating horror fans should also note that it’s the most exhilarating fright flick to hit … Continue reading Horror review: Severance
Horror review: Vacancy
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, APRIL 25, 2007 Vacancy is an effective horror flick on a few levels. It preys on your fear of getting hopelessly lost in the middle of nowhere, and it preys on your fear of being waylaid by murderous strangers. But mostly it preys on your fear of getting stuck on an … Continue reading Horror review: Vacancy
Horror review: The Reaping
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, APRIL 11, 2007 What's with the recent spate of Oscar-winning actors starring in shockingly bad supernatural horror flicks? Two weeks ago you had Forest Whitaker embarrassing himself in The Marsh, and now you've got two-time Academy Award champ Hilary Swank committing career hara-kiri in The Reaping. Have their Hollywood agents signed … Continue reading Horror review: The Reaping
Horror review: Dead Silence
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 21, 2007 By Steve Newton Ventriloquists' dummies really creep me out. All dolls are inherently freaky, but there's something seriously bent about a little wooden man with bulging eyes, shiny cheeks, and perfect chompers. I recall being quite disturbed by Magic, the 1978 chiller that used the ventriloquism angle most … Continue reading Horror review: Dead Silence
Horror review: The Marsh
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, MARCH 21, 2007 According to the Internet Movie Database, The Marsh is set for release on DVD in the States next month. The fact that Forest Whitaker won an Oscar for his role as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland must have convinced the marketers behind this sub-par ghost … Continue reading Horror review: The Marsh
Horror review: The Number 23
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 21, 2007 The main concern with The Number 23 was whether or not Jim Carrey could pull off the lead role in a psychological thriller. Could the rubber-faced fartsmith overcome the juvenile stigma of anything-for-laughs flicks like Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Dumb and Dumber, or would the sight of … Continue reading Horror review: The Number 23
Horror review: The Messengers
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, FEB. 7, 2007 Kristen Stewart is only 16, yet she’s already getting typecast as the sullen teen who moves with her big-city parents to spooky, dilapidated old homes in the country. She did it in 2003’s clunky Cold Creek Manor, and she’s doin’ it again as The Messengers’ Jess, a Chicagoan … Continue reading Horror review: The Messengers
Horror review: Blood and Chocolate
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON STRAIGHT.COM, JAN. 31, 2007 The ads for Blood and Chocolate proudly declare that it’s “from the producers of Underworld”, as if that’s something to brag about. Wasn’t that vampires-versus-werewolves flick just a pretentious, noisy excuse to see Kate Beckinsale in tight black leather? Apart from having scads of springy werewolves pouncing about, … Continue reading Horror review: Blood and Chocolate